First of all, I want to thank Mssr. Dan Savage for allowing me to blog for Spreading Santorum. Secondly, I want to state my intentions in blogging for this site.
1. To help spread the word about Santorum as much as possible. Did you know there are millions of fully-grown men and women who have never heard of Rick Santorum? It's true--& if you're like me, then you wish you were one of them.
But since I can never regain my blessed ignorance of Santorum, then I shall strive to make sure all others suffer likewise with the fearful knowledge of his dread existence.
2. To help spread the word about Santorum in as many ways as possible. Not just in this blog, but also in other, guerilla-like ways (within legal as boundaries, of course)--& then reporting those efforts here.
But unlike Dan, I will not caucus in a state in which I'm not a registered voter, nor will I lick the doorknob of Santorum's campaign office while putridly ill. I may however, put lube and chocolate frosting on their doorknobs.
3. To help stop the spread of Santorum. I will do all I can to help ensure that he has an even lesser chance (than his already-slim-to-none chance) of being one of the top three in the Iowa GOP caucus. Or any other primary or caucus, or any other future election for the rest of his life.
It's very unlikely that Santorum will win the GOP nomination for President, but I want to him to never again even think about running for any elected office. Then maybe we can all forget about the inbred Santorum and his ilk, and maybe someday revert back to the (tossed) salad days of our pre-Santorum youth.