Friday, September 23, 2011

Can Someone Please Get Santorum Off the Gay Soldiers?

Did you watch the Republican debate last night? Me neither. I value my sanity enough to catch the highlights the next day. Here is one such highlight (from The Huffington Post):










To be fair, booing gay soldiers hardly seems shocking after previous Republican debate attendees cheered executions and people dying without health insurance. I am, however, a little surprised that the crowd seemed so supportive of Santorum, whom I thought was moments away from dropping out of the race.

From The Washington Post:

When the Republican presidential contenders debated in Orlando tonight, it was really two debates. In the first third of the evening, a series of disjointed questions without follow-ups, Texas Gov. Rick Perry seemed strong and well-prepared. But he faded over the rest of the debate, appearing to lose his steam just as he was trying to paint Mitt Romney as a flip-flopper.

The big winner of the night, however, was Rick Santorum.

Santorum has been waiting for the chance to supplant Rep. Michele Bachmann (Minn.) as the third-ranking candidate in the race. Tonight he went a long way toward achieving that. Bachmann never managed to make a presence. Santorum, however, socked Perry on in-state tuition breaks for Texas college students who are illegal immigrants, making the point that Perry is subsidizing those people over non-Texan American citizens. On Afghanistan, he hit a home run, telling off Jon Huntsman Jr. over the latter’s suggestion to bug out of a war short of victory. He barked, “Just because our economy is sick doesn’t mean America is sick.” When asked about right-to-work laws, Santorum smartly steered the discussion to public employee unions. As the debate went on, he received more and more questions, a sure sign he was becoming a contender.

I remember when Bill Clinton's second term was coming to an end and Bush and Gore were duking it out for the presidency. I was thirteen at the time, and a big fan of Saturday Night Live. Shortly before the election, they did a special where they interviewed the cast members about the joys of making fun of politicians. They also asked everyone whom they wanted to win. I can't remember who said it, but one of the SNL cast said that they were hoping for Bush because they thought he'd be more fun to mock every Saturday. I remember being outraged: comedy is not a reason to support a politician! Since getting the opportunity to write for this fine blog, however, I've come to understand exactly what that unmemorable SNL cast member was feeling.

I am rooting for Santorum.

Not to win the presidency, obviously: that would be disastrous. But dammit, I really want him to win the Republican nomination. I want to take the piss out of him for as long as possible. It was getting kind of lame and sad making fun of what seemed like the next candidate to drop out of the race. Making fun of the Republican party's rising star, however, is so much more satisfying.

So, good job, Rick. Good job painting the DADT repeal as an excuse for gay soldiers to fuck in the trenches. Good job pandering to the lowest common denominator (the majority of your constituents). And, finally, good job not giving up when your chances of winning seemed nothing short of nonexistent. I genuinely would love nothing more than for you to win the Republican nomination.

Because then Obama would definitely get re-elected.

15 comments:

  1. Ron Paul is in 3rd place, not Bachmann...and this is despite lack of media attention, not because of it.

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  2. Isn't DADT actually doing what he doesn't want to have happen; put focus on a specific group?

    Doesn't DADT bring the concept of sex into the military? If I'm not mistaken, there are already policies about sex in general not being involved in the military. I just don't see how this isn't gay-bashing.

    I'm confused, and terrified to ask someone to explain this to me.

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  3. After ignoring the boos of an active duty, deployed, American soldier ... after choosing to not thank him for his service ... and after trying to reduce his life and service to little or nothing but "sexual behavior" ... Santorum smugly ends it by saying only a technicality should allow him to continue his service?!?!

    Santorum more than deserves his very fitting "google problem."

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  4. Being gay or being straight is about more than who you have sex with. It's about who you love and who you start a family with.

    Mr. Santorum has never been in the military. From what I've seen; The #1 topic of discussion among troops outside of mission-specific topics is your family, because when it boils down to it, that's who you are fighting for. Under DADT, gay troops had to pretend like their families didn't exist.

    I seriously doubt any heterosexual would want to live under the restrictions that DADT put in place. So, when Santorum talks about everyone, gay or straight, "keeping it to themselves", I really don't think he expects everyone to pretend like their families don't exist. Just gay troops...

    I really don't think Santorum has a chance at the White House.

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  5. did he just say "we would move FORWARD in conformity with what was happening in the PAST."? I've never heard a more out of touch human being. Sex is not a concept. Maybe it is for someone like Rick who isn't getting any.

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  6. "I am rooting for Santorum". I used to think this way, but I live in Maine and LePage got elected. At best, it's embarrassing to have him as our representative, and we fear the damage he can do in these 2 years he has a republican legislature. Luckily there's a vote for the legislature in 2 years. It might help balance things.

    But I'd be rather terrified with a nut job like him (or Santorum) leading the country.

    What do democrats have to do? It seems that we the people don't really want somebody who is intelligent and thoughtful leading us... and when we get somebody like that, we make his (or maybe some day her) life hell, so that he compromises so much nobody knows who he really is.

    I could not live under DADT. I would let casual comments slip all the time... We all talk about our families, how can people not?

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  7. Can you stop ranting about Santorum and start spreading the love on santorum please? That's what this site used to be about and it was awesome. There's plenty of Santorum rants on the internet and doing it here makes it redundant. Just put in some awesome santorum escapade contributed by readers and then link to Santorum rants if you really have to..

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  8. Santorum didn't fare so well in the Florida straw poll, and now it looks like he's taken his last gasp of O2 and is sinking almost as quickly as Bachmann. Which means that both of these bottom-feeders are heading back to those places they're all too familiar with. Not that I mind, but I will recall how Santorum answered the question from the gay soldier in Iraq about what he would do, if he were President, with respect to DADT and those positive gains made as of late with respect to getting homos and heteros onto equal footing at home. Of course, Santorum, being that font of no knowledge, immediately pandered to the crowd of GOP faithful by equating being gay with immediate sexual gratification by remarking that soldiers should not be engaging in sexual intercourse, which kind of unnerved me upon reflection of his response because he never gave it any thought other than to reply with a canned response. Not the person I would want in charge of the world's largest nuclear arsenal or making policy to steer the country. Think it is time for Santorum to take out the whip and self-flagellate for losing another election and denying the Vatican another controllable cog of the American government...wait, did I just tie Santorum to the Vatican? Where's my whip? Gotta go and atone for that comment....now say 10 Our Fathers and 20 Hail Marys.....

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  9. we need to start the "rick" problem now!!! Santorum is not near enough--------he's still picking on GAYS!!! unleash the RICK!!!!!

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  10. I bet every time Santorum goes on a gay bashing rant he struggles to surpress the memories of all those hot, sweaty Ricks he's given to large, hairy men in public restrooms in airports.

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  11. When did a debate become a pep rally? These audiences come trying to voice their views with cheers and jeers like they are the fricking candidates.

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  12. Sorry to double post but the first one was a knee jerk reaction to the video.

    I just wanted to add that it seems obvious to me (but no one else here?) that Santorum and the other non contenders are just distractions, or pawns, if you will, in the GOP chess game.

    We should be more worried about the big pieces, not the Santorums and Bachmanns who exist just to make the big pieces look more moderate.

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  13. I hate to do this as it's a bit off topic but the email for spreading santorum just got returned to me. So I'm just going to post my email

    I was watching an old episode of Colbert Report the other day, the one when they make fun of Santorum for what he was saying about calling a napkin a paper towel and we can call marriage whatever we want but it isn't or whatever pseudo-philosophical point he was trying to make, and I'm pretty sure I saw him earlier on C-Span to a group in a school around a table saying the same thing with a glass of water.

    Anyway it reminded me of a scene from the great British war-satire movie "In the Loop" that is super funny and has some incredible swearing in it! It's like "Wag the Dog."

    In this clip they say pretty much the same thing Santorum said, but they say it about war not gays. And James Gandolfini's quote at the end is perfect for the stuff Santorum says!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEW6f9cMWYw

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  14. Santorum like all the other Right wing Dolts in the GOP showcase showdown, have not proposed a single thing that would benefit any one of their moronic low/mid class followers

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