Santorum is High Maintenance

I can't be the only one who has noticed this. The dude is whiny as hell. First it's "ew, gay people, y'all are perves and should stop doing anything ever," then it was "most Republicans, y u no liek me?" Now it's "MOOOOOM! Tell Google to stop picking on me." With all this complaining, Rick Santorum has done an excellent job of painting himself as an innocent victim. Which, you know, is exactly what everyone wants in a president. . . .

Oh wait.

I realize that Santorum probably can't afford proper handlers due to the fact that nobody with any sense would ever give him a dime, but it's amazing to me that the staff he does have thinks that it's advantageous to allow their presidential candidate to display this level helplessness. I mean, what happens if he gets elected and people want to put pressure on him to make decisions? Will he be able to handle it? If his decision backfires, will he stand by it or will he blame some third-party for bullying him, the president, into making a decision he didn't truly support?

Even when he's trying to look presidential, Rick just looks sad.

This apparent weakness of character is actually pretty far down the line of issues with Rick Santorum - he has no discernible good qualities - but I do think it warrants attention because it's something that should make even his most ardent supporters think twice. Surely the extreme social conservatives would rather have a bully than a victim in their corner. And the fact of the matter is that Rick Santorum hasn't actually been a bully for about eight years.

Why? Because we beat him. And we're a website about poopy lube started by a sex advice columnist. Honestly.