Anyway, here's a sample of the approximately 20 grillion messages I've received of late:
I think this wins headline of the year. It is too good for them to not have realized what they were doing.
Yep. This headline was so good that fourteen million people sent it to me. It's hard to imagine that the journalists responsible aren't doing this on purpose. For my personal amusement. Thank you, journalists!
You know how we keep hearing about Santorum's "Surge" in popularity? Better use that Santorum Surge Protector.

Yay!
Not sure what the origin of this is, but my friend showed me a picture today that is a mosaic of Rick Santorum made up of photos of gay porn. Thought you might enjoy it.
See this week's This Modern World.
That's great! I won't repost it because, unlike the maker of the above gay porn masterpiece, Tom Tomorrow actually makes a living off his work. But you should all look at it.
Hi,
I just watched the movie milk with sean penn and i want to find out how i can help human rights in america
Kind Regards
A belgian dude
First of all, I'd like to say that I find it both humbling and hilarious that you chose us as your vehicle for "helping human rights in america." It's great that you want to help, Belgian dude, but I'm not actually sure what you can do (except, of course, to donate to organizations like the ACLU and the Human Rights Campaign).
The fact is that human rights in America are on a fucking roll right now. Our "gay agenda" to "normalize homosexuality" by clearly illustrating that gay people are, in fact, normal is working, and moderates are beginning to realize that denying rights to gay people is totally bullshit. Among our recent legislative victories is the ever-increasing number of states that allow gay marriage. I think it's fair to assume that re-electing Obama for a second term will mean the legalization of marriage equality on a federal level. But these are things that you need to be able to vote (and donate to political campaigns) in the US to help accomplish. I think the best help you can offer us is to wish us well. As long as none of these ass-backwards Republicans get elected in November, we'll be good.
Saw your blog. What happened in your childhood to turn you into such a mean petty bitch? Go fuck yourself and replace those batteries in your vibrator you fucking cunt
This actually came to my personal email address, so I can't guarantee that it's actually in reference to this blog, but let's assume it is because my other blog is mostly about clothes I want and boys I have crushes on.
Anyway... ahem... I don't use a vibrator because I actually get laid unlike you, you fucking piece of shit. Go die or whatever. I'm telling my mom.
gingrich (ging-RICH) n. 1. a threadbare fabric constructed of dried sperm, cum, and pubic hair. 2. Former US Representative Newt Gingrich
Add to:
www.spreadingromney.com
www.spreadingsantorum.com
Thank you.
Man, we didn't even make Spreading Romney. That was an inspired fan much like yourself. If I were you, however, I probably wouldn't waste my money on Gingrich, since his campaign is deader than Rick Santorum's sex life. BADUM-CHA.
Dear Mr. Santorum:
How do you feel about the use of contraception?
Charlie
Seriously. I'd say about once a week, somebody (apparently) mistakes Spreading Santorum for Rick Santorum's actual website and sends an email intended for him to me. Of course, I always do the dutiful thing and forward it along to Rick's campaign. I'm not a monster.
They bottled it.
So they did. Too bad about the Ron Paul buttons, though.
If you ever mention a fact or two about Ron Paul, prepare yourself to be attacked by his anti-science brigade. Aside from the Tea Party strongholds, here are some of the bigger groups endorsing Ron Paul that will attack your inbox:
ReplyDeleteThe Autistic Olympics
Moms Against Healthcare
The National Association for the Quiet Distrust of Colored People
The Libertarian Alchemist's Collective
The National Federation for the Privatization of Hispanics
The Bay Area Overpass Political Graffiti Club
Lesbian Daughters of the Confederacy
Daughters of the Thermal Depolymerization Revolution
Babies for a Tax-Free America
The Cat Hoarder Legal Defense Fund
The League of Assassins
Snake Canyon Peacekeeping
Society for the Acceptance of Public Erections
Death Row Inmates Against School Lunches
The Society of Female Sideburns
Big Game Hunters Against the Endangered Species List
The Megaphone Nuisance League
Swamp Loggers Against Net Neutrality
Coalition to Deregulate the Age of Consent
Brotherhood of Lone Nut Gunmen
South Park Fans for Equivocation
North American Man-Gold Love Association
SoCal Objectivist Boardgamers Guild
Power Bottoms for Privatized Utilities
Free Market Diaper Enthusiasts
The Fringe Militia Friendship Network
Citizens for an FDA-Free America
The Caucasian Bow Tie Bloc
Expatriate BitCoin Enthusiasts of Kuala Lampur
Moms for Legalized Whaling
Dads & Grads Against Public Libraries
The Indoor Helmet League
Council on Untested Meats
The Ayn Rand Crossdresser's Guild
The Gold Standard Cheese of the Month Club
The National League of Crackpots
Land Barons for Legalized Slavery
The Humboldt Secessionist Society
The Unashamed Public Dogfucker Alliance
UFO Believers for Challenger Disaster Research
The Tax-Free Raccoon Exchange
The Private Sector Supercollider Society
The National Network of Insufferable Guys at Your Office
Committee for Neck-Beard Deregulation
Citizens for WWE Truth
No, seriously: I am in love with you.
DeleteI nearly fell out of my chair laughing at that news headline, still giggling.
ReplyDeleteAccording to Wordsmith/anagram, rick j santorum is a major cunt risk.
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you forgot the groups that support ron paul the most: army, air force, navy ... and everyone for real peace. ha, you liberal sheep crack me up. keep the military industrial complex going! vote obama! four more wars! four more wars! ps ron paul's not anti science at all. he is for freedom. freedom to practice whatever beliefs you want. whats wrong with that? this website is extremely hypocritical.
ReplyDeleteFuck you, or, more appropriately, butt fuck you, you Godless fetus flushing analphiles. Yours is a worldview so petty, so trivial, so localized, so earth bound, so unworthy of the
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